hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
