The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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