i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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