Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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