i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
