I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
