why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
