Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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