covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
