wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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