Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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