well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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