It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
