My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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