Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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