omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
why do cheetos always look like penises
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
