I smell stomach acid.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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