I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
