So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
