in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
if only i could text you this smell
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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