i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Randomize
