Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
