what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
