wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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