I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
