Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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