Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Randomize
