She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
