Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
