That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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