Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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