it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I wear drunk well.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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