I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we're making bets on your personal life
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
