in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
