my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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