dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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