bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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