I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
