She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
