i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Randomize
