And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Nicole vs. Life
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
