all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
