moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
the gays at disneyland are vicious
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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