Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
