Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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