If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
