im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
