I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
