allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
