i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
