Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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