You're my little dorito
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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