you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
