Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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