"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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