i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
