i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
