WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
